literally had 100 drinks last night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize