she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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