we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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