I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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