Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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