It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
