i don't plan on having that self control this summer
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
