Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
