P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
