I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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