The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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