So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
