It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
