I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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