i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
