Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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