he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
