Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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