it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
