Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
