I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize