All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
