alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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