nut hugger
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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