i don't plan on having that self control this summer
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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