I'm jealous of your bromance
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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