He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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