He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
