So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
