Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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