OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
why is half of my head shaved?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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