DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize