Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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