I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Your penis caused this!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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