I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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