I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Duck Duck Cougar?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
