I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
