I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
