Will you blow on my dice?
I need help removing her.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
