Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
