My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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