Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize