i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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