Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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