M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
