This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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