it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
