I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
