That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
