we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
