i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
