Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
