my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
