she was so not down for the gang bang
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
false alarm, still single
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