what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
