seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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