I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
