i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize