dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
